Why I am a sh***y mom

Are you a shitty mom? I am and you probably are too because that makes me feel better. Bear with me here. Here is a list of why I am a shitty mom and if you do any of these things, you are a shitty mom as well.

1. We don't follow a strict schedule. 
Let's be honest here. My husband does not have a standard 9-5 job so we try to get any time together that we can. Sometimes that includes letting our 2 year old stay up late so she can play with dad. Her bed time ranges from 7:30 to 9 depending on how long her nap was or just how much she generally being an asshole. That brings me to number 2.

2. I call my child an asshole. She can be and don't try to think your own is always a perfect angel. I don't think she is an asshole on purpose but when you have a little spastic person that does not speak english that freaks out and throws whatever is in her path when you don't know she is trying to say popsicle when she is actually fopiple, then yes she is an asshole. My brother coined the term "sasquatch" for her because she is super sassy and sass-hole isn't a good word for a toddler learning to talk and only says the last part of new words...

3. I don't understand all the weird in's and out's of daycare. I just picked her up today and apparently 2 year olds celebrate Valentines Day??? Did you know that because I didn't and we were those weird parents that did not bring any Valentines for the other kids, but she had a paper bag full of candy and chocolate. 

4. Her favorite show? South Park....that is all

Want to know something else? I am also a great mom and I am not afraid to say it. You can be a shitty mom but you can also be a great mom at the same time. 
In regards to the items I said previously:
1. Yes we don't follow a strict schedule, but we make damn sure that one of us is putting her to bed. It took 2 years and change before she had her first babysitter and same goes for our first vacation without her. We love hanging out with her so much that we are willing to sacrifice a strict schedule to be able to spend time with her.

2. I may call my child an asshole (never in front of her btw), but I feel like that means that I am realistic and I don't think that my child is the gifted genius from the heavens that can do no wrong. She is not coddled and we don't cater to her every whim. Freaks out can be teachable moments if you are patient enough. 

3. I don't really know how this can be justified other than I am a first time parent and my husband drops her off and I pick her up and we don't really communicate with her daycare regularly because we are in and out of there. 

4. No excuse for this other than we jokingly say she was born with South Park on the TV in the hospital (which is true) and so it is in her soul to love it. She does also love Wallykazaam, Bubble Guppies, and Doc McStuffins and she actually learns shit from those shows. Whichever show taught her about blowing her nose can pay our bill for kleenex...you mother effers. 

The main reason why I think a blog post like this could be helpful for a new parent is so they can know that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Say what?! I know...shocked me too because I thought I was a perfect parent at first as well. Just get over it early on and you will feel so much more free. You are a parent, but you are also human and have good days and bad days. Do the best that you can and take each day one at a time and for god sake just live in the moment. 

The other reason that this could be helpful is when  you are judging that parent in the grocery store that is doing the exact opposite of what you would do in that same situation and you think they are the lazy parent or the pacifying parent. Just wait until you are having a bad day but still have to take a 2 year old with no nap to the grocery store and you have to bake cookies for something so you have no choice but to go down the baking aisle. I dare ya....

As long as they are safe and you are not a shitty parent in the sense of not buckling their car seat or letting your kids play in a busy road, I think you are good to go. 

French Toast Sticks

Do you want some this? NO
Do you want to have a sandwich? NO
Do you want to try some banana? NO
....This was almost every meal time once Inga was around 18+ months. 
Once your child starts to eat real meals and doesn't live off of random shit thrown in front of them it can be a bit jarring. I know, for me, it was a bit of a transition between that time when I just let her "play" with her food and gave her lots of choices, to switching to giving her real food that really she needed to start eating. 
I don't think that Inga is all that picky in comparison to other kids, but I do think she has her quirks. She still is not a big meat eater, other than some chicken tenders and the classic summer sausage. She has recently started to venture in the realm of fish. Whoa now...settle down there miss foodie. 
Since we still make her meals for daycare, I needed to try and come with meal ideas for her so that the daycare still thought I was a good mom that didn't just give my child the same thing every time she went. I am sure they already find me to be an inconvenience since she is the only child in the toddler room that doesn't eat what the daycare serves. 
I saw a recipe for French Toasts sticks in Pinterest a while back and I thought I would try it. The hard part with Pinterest is that there are no reviews for these recipes and I wasn't really in the mood for a "nailed it" moment. I looked up recipes for french toast with good reviews and used that recipe instead. 
It isn't all that complicated and if you make french toast regularly then you pretty much got it covered. This post is moreso just to give an idea of a food item that you can make that you know what the hell is in it that you can feed your little nugget. 

I use about 7 slices of white bread - sue me - You could use the wheat bread, but the wheat bread we buy has seeds all over it and she was not having those. 
Milk 2/3 cup
Vanilla 1 teaspoon
2 Eggs
Cinnamon to taste
Powdered Sugar to taste

When I make the mixture, I just use the vanilla, eggs, and milk. Cinnamon does not mix with just liquids and what you will find is that the first slice you make would be like the Youtube Cinnamon challenge if you tried to mix the cinnamon. 
I dip the slices in the mixture and put them in the pan and then I sprinkle the powdered sugar and cinnamon on the slice. Works pretty slick that way. I use the powdered sugar as just a little bit more sweetness to entice the monster to feed. 


My monster isn't too keen on the crust and so after I make them and they are cooled, I get to enjoy a bit of the fruits of my labor by cutting and eating the crusts. Then I cut them into 3-4 strips and put them in a ziplock bag and freeze. Done and done. 

Exclusive Pumpers: Never Give Up! Never Surrender!

Breastfeeding can be hard. Exclusively pumping can be hard. I get it. But try...just try. I am sure that you wouldn't be reading the blog if you weren't planning on trying or did and you get high fives!
I pumped for 13 months and I will say that I am extremely proud of myself. I breastfed for the first month but we were just having issues latching on and I was pumping at the same time to get my supply going and pumping just kind of took over. It was also nice so then my husband could feed her, which he loved.
These are some of the tips or advice that seemed to help me get the best out of my pumping. These may not work for you since every boobie is different. 

1. Make sure you have the right size flange. 
This is a huge one that will DESTROY your pumping experience and I am convinced this causes a lot of moms to stop. I used the flanges that came with my pump and they ended up being too small....YEEOOOUCCH! They don't cost a lot of money and I bought mine on Amazon, but try to get another size up. You can google breast pump flanges and see how they are supposed to fit properly.

2. Pump Often.  
Your fun bags are actually extremely smart, which seems a bit oxymoronic. They know that if you breastfeed or pump a lot, that they need to start producing more. If you start breastfeeding first like I did, you should always try to pump afterwards to make sure that all of the milk is out. Your jubblies will only product what they emptied so if you don't empty them, they won't produce as much the next time. The instructions even say in the pump to continue to pump after the last drop for about 5 minutes and I think that is why I ended up producing so much and ultimately allowed me to get away with only having to pump 3-4 times a day. I started out pumping at least 6-7 times a day until about 10 weeks and then slowly started to do fewer pumps but longer sessions to readjust the jugs to my upcoming work environment. 

3. Take supplements if you have to.  
There is no shame in taking herbs or making lactation cookies to help your supply. I got sick at about 9 months and had to take a Z-pack. Even though the doctor said it wouldn't affect my supply, it definitely did. I went down about 6-7 ounces each day, which is a lot if you don't have a huge stash in the freezer. Fenugreek is extremely helpful as well as these supplements that have a little bit of everything. Mother's Love Supplements have lots of different herbs that definitely helped to maintain my current supply and not let it dwindle. I ultimately did add another session to my day. Lactation cookies work great as long as the recipe has the 3 main ingredients: oats, brewers yeast, and flax. Unfortunately the recipe that I originally followed had like a cup of ground flax. My stomach churned the rest of the day anytime I ate those, but they did certainly work. That is the only reason why I am not posting a recipe. Just search Google and you will find a lot. 

4. Replace the white membranes often.  
These are the little white flaps that...well flap...inside the bottle to drop the milk in. If they get washed to hard or generally worn out they don't provide a proper seal and decrease the amount of suction necessary. These little effers are dirt cheap and you can buy a large amount of them to have in your bag for when you need them. 

5. Wash your pieces carefully. 
I'll be honest, I hated washing my breast pump pieces. Breast milk is very oily and sticks to everything and you always need to devote a good amount of attention to give them a deep cleaning. I did find that the little brush that comes with the Dr. Brown bottles is EXTREMELY handy when cleaning the main part. It just fits perfectly and bends around in the little crevices. 
The one piece of advice that I found saves you so much headache....DON'T WASH THE TUBING! For crying out loud....no milk comes in contact with the tubing and when you put water within the tubing, it is near impossible to get all the water out and therefore it can get into the motor and mold. Yes..mold. It even says in the manuals that washing the tubing is not necessary. If you were researching pumps like me, and lots of reviews say they hated the pump, because water got in there and it molded, it is their own damn fault. They are the dumb reviewers that put I hate this product because the person shipping it didn't wrap it nice enough.....what? 

Some perks to pumping?
- Most to all insurances cover really nice pump for free
- You legally get breaks at work to pump. Some mothers complain that their workplace is not very nice about them pumping or they make it difficult. It is your right so stand up for yourself. If they make you feel ashamed, don't. It is their own damn insecurities and they should be ashamed themselves. 
- It's free! Woop Woop!
- For an introvert like myself...it's your "Get out of Jail Free" card to not have to socialize or leave places early. 

What were some tips that got you through pumping or what are some perks of pumping for you?

Wanting healthy baby food doesn't make you a nut

Hear me out here..there is doing your best to give your baby healthy food and there is ONLY GIVING YOUR BABY ORGANIC LOCALLY GROWN SUSTAINABLE NON-GMO NO MSG (did I miss some) FOODS. 
I am not judging parents in either direction because everybody's lives are different. Some parents have multiple kids and a successful day consists of getting food in their belly and they are still alive by bedtime. There are also those parents who feel that giving their child anything that is packaged or processed is a sin and anybody that doesn't follow suit are terrible parents. 

I think many parents project or feel defensive when other parents do things differently from them and they believe that those other parents are judging them because they are not doing the same thing. We can call that a form of mom-shaming. It's a prevalent disease in the breastfeeding/formula world as well, but that can be a whole other post from me. 

I know I am weird and I know that I may do things a bit outside the box, but that is me and everybody is different and unique in their own way. We are all in this together and it takes a village to raise children breastfed, formula, lunchables, broccoli, and all. 
Phew, enough of being self-reflective and shit. *falls off soap-box*

My husband and I (mostly me, let's be honest) have decided that we want to try our best to make sure Inga gets the most natural and whole foods that we can possibly give her. Does that mean that she can't try cake with frosting on her birthday coming up or have some fruit juice with her lunch? No, but the difference is that the cake will be a carrot cake my mom will make with some homemade whipped frosting and the fruit juice is just orange juice with no extra sugar. 
That is key and that is the main thing we follow when choosing store bought food for our little nugget. What are the ingredients, can we actually pronounce them, and are they ingredients that we can buy in a store. My last blog post focuses on this a little bit when her daycare provider tried to get me to give her the food they feed the other kids. 

There are so many choices nowadays to give your baby a healthy meal made with whole foods and many household names are even jumping on the bandwagon.
Here are some of Inga's favorite food items that don't make us cringe when reading the ingredients. They are easy to get and not expensive at all!

1. Sprout Organic Foods pouches

I discovered these pouches when I was trying to find something for Inga that had whole grains in it since she was not having regular oatmeal. I found some pouches that were fruit and oatmeal, quinoa etc. They are so delicious and she LOVES them. The ingredients are all organic (meh don't really care) but the best part is that they are just regular foods with no presservatives or anything I can't pronounce. 
She really loves the Peach Berry Oatmeal & Quinoa, and the Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal ones but she eats pretty much all of them. They are available at Diapers.com in packs of 5 for around $10.99 or you can buy some flavors at Walmart. I would definitely give these a try. 


2. Beech Nut Just Naturals jars - I was purchasing some diapers online and they sent a sample jar of Pear and Black Cherry to give a try. I was skeptical but when I had a look at the ingredients it was just that: pears and black cherries. There may be one or two that have a bit of lemon juice at the end of the ingredient list but they are just as their name says - Just Naturals.  Boy are they yummy. There are certainly some odd combinations (Pineapple, Pear and Avocado huh?) but they are really good. We tend to share it as she is eating it. They sell these on Diapers.com as well and Walmart for about a $1 a jar. 

The next few are not baby specific foods, but they are foods that Inga really likes. 
1. Simply Balanced White Cheddar Cheese Puffs - These are the Target brand that is replacing the Archer Farms brand I think. For some reason I cannot find these online anywhere but the ingredients are basically just a corn puff with real cheese on them. Here is a nice document from Target describing this brand and what they include and won't include in their foods. Oh and they are gluten free so my mom can touch them too haha. 

2. Mcvitie's Digestive Biscuits - If you have never had these, you need to go get some and try them. I grew up eating these anytime I went to Denmark to visit family and they are absolutely delish. Oh and I suppose Inga loves them too. They are really soft so they mush up really nicely when she eats them. The ingredients are not organic and they do have some sugar in them but there is no hydrogenated fats and no corn syrup. To be honest though, even if they did I would still buy them for her as she loves them. You can also try Hobnobs from the same brand and they have oats added as well. They are yummy too. 

3. Greek Yogurt - Inga cannot get enough greek yogurt. If she sees us take the container out of the fridge those little legs start pumping and she starts pointing. She even loves just plain greek yogurt and my mom cooked up some blueberries to make a sauce and mix in. You could also mix in some of the Beech Nut Just Natural jars into the yogurt to give some flavor. We occasionally give her some of the flavored greek yogurt but since it does have lots of sugar we don't that often, which does not seem to bother her as long as it is yogurt. Greek Yogurt is something great to add to their diet because babies around a year old need about 15 grams of protein a day. Breastmilk, if they are getting about 20 ounces a day, is only about 8 grams of protein. A cheese stick can make this up, but a cheese stick every day can probably be a bit constipating so it's nice to mix it up. 

Here are a couple tips on picking out baby food. 
1. When reading ingredient labels for baby food, or any food for that matter, remember that the ingredients are listed in order from most used to least. So if you have a baby food pouch where the last ingredient is lemon juice, they probably added it to give a bit of tartness or acidity to offset something else. I tend to just glance at the first 3-5 ingredients in the list and if that isn't proceeded by a bunch of chemical names I am sure the food is pretty good. 
2. Another thing about reading the ingredient labels for baby food is to read what the flavor is for the food itself. I have found a lot of pouches (Plums and Ellas) where the flavors are something like pear, blueberry and spinach but the first ingredient is apple. Some companies use apple as just a filler item and that is ok to a fault. You don't want to give your child pouches, thinking they are getting a variety of fruits and vitamins from those fruits when the main first ingredient is apples in all of them. 

Just remember if you don't give them those bad foods then they won't know what they are missing. 
What are some foods that you feed your kids that are limited ingredients or healthy?

Feeding our kid in public - The Battle rages on

Inga just turned 9 months this past Sunday, so she has been eating solid foods for about 3 months now.
Who knew that feeding your kid had the potential for such disagreement with other parents.

It started out great, just like my previous post had shown, with a great video of her first time eating some banana and just loving it. That continued for a couple weeks. We only had her eat once a day as to not overwhelm her stomach. As you can see from the video it was very telling of what was to come in the next few months. She was pretty meh about the mushed up banana and just wanted the banana itself. She did seem to enjoy holding onto the spoon but that soon turned into wanting the bowl that the puree was in.
Fast forward to now - she ate purees for about 2 weeks, then we just switched and gave her whole food and that seems to be the way that she wants to roll. And that is great! We gave her the tools and the choices and chose correctly. What can I say? She is gifted I guess ha! /sarcasm.
Before we started solid foods, I had wanted to do Baby Led Weaning. I had bought the book and was all prepared, but I was extremely nervous on the possibility of her choking of a whole piece of banana so we decided to be a bit half-ass about it. She pretty much decided for us that that was the way she preferred. I feel like babies need to learn how to chew/mush something before they can swallow it and starting with purees seems a bit back assward.
We have yet to just give her everything that we eat but she does try almost everything at least once whether it is just sucking on it or playing with it in her hands. This seems to be the issue when feeding her out in public. Sometimes when we give her something, we get the hover parents looking at us like,
"OMG she is going to choke. Why would ever give a baby that?"
"Does she ever eat baby food?"
"Is she even eating any of it?"
No she is not going to choke. She might gag, but she isn't dying and will spit it out. No we don't feed her baby food. Have you tried that shit? Hmmm jarred chicken dinner or a chicken drumstick?
Who cares if she is actually eating any of it?
Food is supposed to just be fun and a learning experience until they are one anyways so don't put so much pressure on them to eat.
Some people just have to have an opinion on everything and everyone and because of our parenting style, we probably just need to get over the fact that helicopter parents are going to give us the business.
She does still gag on certain foods, and that can be scary but she is not choking and she has to learn. Like my dad said that you can just go to the court house and get an eating permit lol
Some of Inga's favorite things to eat are:
Orange segments - she can eat about half an orange and her poo smells like oranges haha
Blueberries - she eats lots of blueberries at Grandma's house
Mcvities Digestive crackers - she shares these with the dog every time
Watermelon - these are a new favorite
Tomatoes - She sucks and pulls all the meat and juice out of them like a champ
Cheese - This is one of the dog's favorites haha
What are your little nugget's favorite things to eat? Any suggestions on getting whole grains - since she doesn't really care for oatmeal? Leave comments!

First Day of Solids and it was Glorious

I don't even really need to write all that much. All I need to do is post the video of Inga eating her very first solid food and you will see the gloriousness of it all. 

We gave her a spoon for about 3 weeks before she actually ate food and we think that helped out with her not gagging on the spoon and food. 

Some of the prep we did that seemed to help out was to basically get her naked except for her diaper. That definitely made clean up easier, but she still could have used a bath. 

Oh! And we had Elsa, our bulldog, handy for clean up. I already think of the second day that she is a bit bored of eating ground banana but she isn't too picky. 

Now I don't know how most sessions of starting solids works so we just kind of went with the flow. We gave her the spoon, gave her the bowl, tried putting it just on her tray...then we got brave and just gave her a chunk of whole banana. As you can see in the video is went amazing. She mashed the whole chunk in her hand and if she got a piece too big she spit it out. 

However, I will say that the idea of Baby Led Weaning does not sound like it is for us. This morning on her second day of banana, it was a bit less ripe and the whole chunk of banana we gave her didn't moosh up and I got nervous and pulled a little chunk out of her mouth. Then a couple minutes later she did the same thing but guess what......she spit it out herself without my hovering help. 

I think we have decided that we like the steps we are taking of starting slow and if she seems confident, maybe give her a chunk of food to nom on. 

Anyways, here is the video. 

And the aftermath.....

How did your first day of solids go with your babe?

Starting Solids: Holy S*** Time Flies

Just as the title says...holy s*** time flies. Yeah I suppose when you are having fun or just busy. 
So this weekend we are starting solids...dun dun DUN!! I, for one, am beyond excited. It is something new to do with Inga and it changes up the routine. It also is another step in knowing that she is growing and we haven't ruined her yet. 
We made the decision to wait until she was 6 months old to start with solids. After doing some research I read that delaying solids can help curb allergies, among other things. Allergies run in my family. My dad had them and I have them. However, they are not food related but rather environmental. 
The longer you wait to introduce solids to your baby, the better their digestive system has to properly develop to handle those solid foods. 
A couple signs that your wee-one is ready for solids:
- Develops an interest in what you are eating or reaches for your food. We call that pulling a Big Roger, which is an inside joke, but cute either way. Inga tries to Big Rog us all the time. 
- They can sit up pretty much on their own in a high chair. You don't want them falling forward or wibbly wobbling all over the place. 

I will do another post with an update on how it is all going but here are some of the items that I got to prepare for Inga's venture in the great wide world of real food. 
We plan to do all the food ourselves so she won't have to endure Beef Barley Pea Dinner baby food from a jar...just...ugh. It doesn't seem all that hard and we only plan to do purees for a little while before she can start just eating regular food. 
But remember - FOOD IS FUN UNTIL THE AGE OF ONE :)

1. Mumi Bubi Starter Set - This came with 2 trays with curved bottoms so the cubes slide right out. Haven't used these yet, but plan to when she is eating stuff to freeze. 

2. IKEA baby bowls - For how flipping cheap they are, why the hell not. They are like $2 for 6 bowls. 

3. First Years Flatware - These are great and super cheap. She has been chewing on these for the past couple weeks so she doesn't choke. 

4. Stokke Tripp Trapp set - This was my crazy splurge. The high chair is ungodly expensive along with all the attachments for it. But of course I ended up getting a great deal on it and got the infant set and the tray for free. She has been sitting in this for a while now and just loves it. 

5. The Best Homemade Baby Food on the Planet - This is a great book, but its a little pointless in some aspects. I mean, do you really have to have an entire recipe for mashing up avocados? I am not kidding...the recipe is 1/2 of a ripe avocado. 

6. Tommee Tippee Easy Roll Bibs - These seem like they are going to be awesome. They are really soft and can roll up easily. Nice silicone for easy clean up to and the tray catches some of the yum yums, much to my puppies sadness I am sure. 

One item that isn't there but I think will be fun and helpful is a printable calendar. I am going to write on the calendar what food she is having each day. We plan to introduce a new food every 3 days just to see if she has a reaction to anything. 

So these are the items that we got for starting solids. Since I am a FTM I am sure some of these are pointless but I got it all cheap so shutup. :)

What are some items that you used or are using for feeding your spawn? Leave a comment. 

 UPDATE: Check out my newest blog post for how our first day went and a video!